Only One True Outsider
by Amu Yimata
Summary: "Hi! I'm Mary Sue and I'm an outsider!" "…No! There is only one little girl that people give a damn about in this world! And that is me! Alice: The Destroyer!" Alice's thoughts on OCs in the HnKnA fandom. Crack-fic. Not to be taken seriously.
1. Only Room for One Little Girl!

I had no real reason to make this and I honestly don't have problems with OC stories. I just wanted to make something that required no real writing skills. I also needed something to get my creativity going to continue my other fanfics.

So please don't get offended by this if you write OC stories, this is not directed to you or anyone. Just for comedy purposes.

Disclaimer: I do not own HnKnA  
The Mary Sue in this does belong to me. I think.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Mary Sue: Hi! I'm Mary Sue and I'm an outsider! ^.^/

Alice: …No! There is only one little girl that people give a damn about in this world! And that is me! **Alice: The Destroyer**! *holds up holy sword* ):

Mary Sue: But there are a lot of guys here! You can share one or two of them…or all of them…

Alice: No fuck off there all mine! *gets all the men and drags them away*

Mary Sue: )':

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Mary Sue: Hi Julius! *flirty smile*

Julius: …I love you new outsider! Marry me!

Alice: No! You get away from one of my mans! *kicks Mary Sue out of Wonderland*

Mary Sue: No! D':

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Mary Sue: *sneaks back to wonderland and to the amusement park* Hello boys~!

Boris: She's so pretty! I'm in love!

Pierce: So much better than Alice, Chu!

Gowland: Definitely! This outsider is far better and cuter! 3

Alice: *comes to the amusement park* Hello you gu- Bitch I thought I kicked you out! *kicks her out again*And this time, stay out!

Mary Sue: B-but ; ~ ;

Alice: No! You stay out!

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Mary Sue: Alice! I challenge you to a duel! If I kill you then I get your spot!

Alice: *Evil aura and glare* Bring it on, bitch! *gets out holy sword*

Mary Sue: *gets out indestructible sword of holy magic and rainbows and shit*

Alice: ಠ_ಠ Are you fucking kidding me?

Mary Sue: Prepare yourself! *dramatic slow mo running*

Alice: ಠ_ಠ …

All male role holders: \^^/ Go Mary Sue! We're rooting for you!

Crysta and Vivaldi: How can you like that whore omgidon'teven…. ಠ_ಠ

Alice: ಠ_ಠ …Once again, are you people fucking kidding me?

Mary Sue: *ends up missing and faceplants*

Alice: …I got it! *ties up Mary Sue and throws her into a hole going to god knows where*

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

All male role holders: Huh? What? What happened? *dazed*

Alice: Shhhhhh, it's okay the bitch is gone. You can all go to loving me again. *hugs all the male role holders*

Blood: Of course, my lady. ^^

Bloody Twins: We love you one-san!

Peter: Alice! I love you soo much!

Sidney: I love her more!

Boris: No I do!

Elliot: No I do!

Alice: Ah, it's good to be the outsider. ^^

Vivaldi: Well, at least things are back to normal.

Crysta: Yeah, but I can't tell if it's a good thing or not.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

*To the Mary Sue*

Mary Sue: *passed out in the middle of the black butler/kuroshitsuji fandom*

Ciel Phantomhive: Huh? Who is she?

Sebastian: I do not know young master, but she is very beautiful.

Ciel: She is!

Alois: She is hot and I must make her mine!

Will: No mine!

Prince Soma: No she will be my queen!

Mary Sue: *comes to and sees the guys fighting over her* Oh, there's no need to fight, I will love you all!

Elizabeth: Hey! Hands off my fiancée!

**THE END**

Alice: She's your problem now Lizzie!

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I'm not sure if some of the emoticons will show up when this is posted. I hope you enjoyed my fanfic of randomness and stupidity!

Yeah I know it probably wasn't any good, but I can't write comedy too well whether I try or not.


	2. Your facts do not add up!

More of Alice's thoughts on OCs and OC stories!

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Summary: Alice died and all the role holders became sad so Peter went to go get a new outsider and-

Alice: *crosses out the rest* People I'm still alive! Besides a lot of these stories facts don't add up!

Alice: First of all, if I died then the game would have ended which means new role holders would be decided! That means Peter, Julius, Blood, Gowland, and everyone else who you pair your OCs with would be gone! Geez you are all morons. =3=

Alice: Secondly, when you say I died of old age then as far as you know another outsider could have already been present even before your OC stumbled into wonderland.

Alice: And thirdly if Peter was the one who went to get this OC…actually he wouldn't! He's too devoted to me to actually do that!

Random Fanfic Writer: But what if you returned to your own world?

Alice: Same thing! The game would end and new role holders would be chosen. Oh and another thing, the only reason I got to go to wonderland was because Peter was being a stalker and I doubt most of these OCs would end up capturing the heart of a resident. Most of the OCs I see are either too perfect or end up hating love with a passion. I think most role holders would probably stay away from someone who hates love and what's the challenge a perfect OC has to face in wonderland? If they're perfect then they're happy and have no need to go to wonderland! Besides if they were that perfect then wouldn't they already have found a boyfriend in their own world?

RFW: …

Alice: No come back? Yeah that's what I thought.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

DCreed, thank you for reviewing and I believe this new chptr answers your question.

nutellawaffles13, I'm glad you thought my story was funny!

serima, that idea sounds wonderful! I'll have Alice rant about children fics next time!


	3. Does the Rule of Genetics Apply Here?

Okay here are her rants about children fics!

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Summary: Alice had a child with this person and this is her daughter/son's adventu-

Alice: Seriously? My child? Could I even have a child with one of the role holders? I mean how do we know what traits the child gets? I'm not sure whether having a heart is a recessive or dominant trait, same with the face thing. Could that be shown on a punnett square?

Alice: Also I see some of these children apparently have a role holder father, but I go back to my world before the kid is born. First of all I can't raise a kid on my one and second, in the real world where I already am like 20 years old already and in wonderland I went back to being sixteen. I think that may be a problem in the childbirth process. If one of the guys did get me pregnant I would have stayed in wonderland and had the father take responsibility for the kid too. Whether they wanted to or not. Also, if I left then the game would end as stated in the last chapter and once again, the kid will never be able to find out who the father was. And another thing, I believe the majority of the role holders, if not all, would be an overprotective father so I doubt a new game would be able to start with my child since the father would probably kill everyone!

Alice: You people are making me repeat things now! Stahp it!

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Alicia: Hi! I'm Alice's and a role holder's daughter, Alicia!

Alice: …Excuse me?

Alicia: I came here to find out who my father is because my mother died back in our world!

Alice: …I said _**EXCUSE ME**_!?

Alicia: Omg! Mom you're still alive!

Alice: I don't know who you are, but you are not my daughter.

Alicia: Huh? I am your daughter! Remember? You said my father was from wonderland.

Alice: No I don't remember and I never actually chose one of the role holders so I couldn't have had a child!

Julius: Hey Alice I need more coff- What's the girl?

Alice: She claims she is my daughter but I don't remember giving birth! She also says her father is a role holder.

Julius: …Sounds like a _you_ problem so I'll be on my way. *tries to leave*

Alice: *grabs him by the collar* You are my bitch! And you will help me send this little girl back to whence she came!

Alicia: But mom..!

Alice: I am not your mom! Go back little girl! I am the only little girl allowed to be here!

Alicia: D':

Alice: Now then, how do we send her back?

Julius: I don't know what did you do to send the Mary Sue back in the first chapter?

_*crash!*_

Julius: …What was that?

Alice: I think that was the sound of the fourth wall breaking.

Julius: Shouldn't that have broken last chapter?

Alice: Don't know; don't care, as long as we send this girl back. I think we should use a cannon…May be White has one! Wait right here both of you, I'll be back with a cannon.*goes to circus*

Julius: …She's gonna destroy the clock tower with that cannon in the process isn't she?

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Alice: White! Do you have a cannon I can borrow?

White: Sure, one for the circus acts right? What do you need it for?

Alice: This one girl came again claiming she's my daughter. Now get this cannon to the clock tower!

White: *is forced to drag cannon to clock tower

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Alice: I have returned with White and the cannon.

White: Okay, so let's put the girl in and get this over with.

Alice and Julius: *grab Alicia and put her in the cannon*

Alicia: H-huh? Wait! I still don't know who my father-

Alice: Fire!

*Alicia gets shot from the cannon and back to her world*

Alicia: Argh!

Alice: We're done here right? Who wants a soda?

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

nutellawaffles13, Yes I have seen the ones of her best friend following her. I believe I should make that my next topic. Because one question has always bothered me about that: How do they even find out Alice got dragged away anyway? From what I hear that moment was kind of like an illusion so they couldn't have know because in the real world Alice is like twenty already. Also thank you for favoriting this story!

supersushicupcake, I'm glad you enjoy the series and I hope this chapter was to your liking.

serima, yes I know of the games and I have read review of them, but I've never actually played one even though I would like to. Also, thank you for the follow!

peekodemeeko12, I have seen your PM too, just now and very late but I saw it. I will tell you if I think your OC Jackie qualifies as a Mary Sue when I have read a couple more of your fanfics so I hope you can be patient until then, but I will most definitely tell you sometime soon. (But to Alice all OCs qualify as a Mary Sue.)

AutumnsNightmare, Thank you for the favorite!


	4. Best Friend? What Best Friend?

Alice's opinions on the best friend fics!

Also, I'm going to start updating fanfics by popularity and I've noticed that this is like my second most popular fanfic.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Summary: Alice's best friend Ashley saw Peter kidnap Alice so she followed them down to wonderland so now they are two outsiders and-

Alice: I swear that the next person who writes a story like this is going to get punched in the face by me!

Alice: First of all, I was basically dreaming or it was some sort of illusion thing when I got dragged to wonderland by Peter! In the real world I'm about twenty years old already. My best friend couldn't have known. Second, I think my best friend would think that what she saw was her mind playing tricks on her. The types of friends I have are sensible people and don't believe anything they see unless it physically happens to them. And lastly, I was in the garden when that happened. Unless my_ friend_ was breaking and entering they couldn't have gotten there that fast even if Lorina, my dad, or even Edith led them to the garden. The second Lorina disappeared was the same second that Peter appeared. Not enough time to go from the front door to the garden!

RFW: But what if there was a glitch in the game?

Alice: A glitch? Dude, this is a fucking world here! Not one of you fucking video games! Well, okay technically it is a video game since the series is a dating sim, but that's beside the point. Also, the game doesn't start until I drink the potion, medicine, thing. So a glitch couldn't start until I drank that. If you're so sure that a glitch can start someone explain to me how it starts!

RFW: Well that easy it starts by…well it has to…ummm…

Alice: That's right! You can't explain! Alice – 1 RFW – 0

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

This time I don't really know how to respond to my reviews. So I won't be taking up this space to personally reply to all of you so sorry. But thank you all for reviewing and reading! And especially thank you to those who have favorite and followed this story! It's much appreciated.


	5. Special Edition: To Be A Sue or Not?

Okay! So this is a chapter dedicated to **peekodemeeko12**!

She asked if I would classify Jackie as a Mary Sue or not and well, this chapter will be her answer! I figured it would be more fun this way and people could see what they think of my evaluation and see if it's fair. So **peekodemeeko12** if you do not want me to post my opinion for the whole world of to see then I will immediately take it down.

Jackie and the summary parts here belongs to **peekodemeeko12**

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Summary: Elliot has never seen such a breathtaking foreigner. His heart slowly began to tick faster. Even Alice paled in comparison…

Alice: …EXCUSE ME!?

Amu: I believe that means compared to Jackie you're kinda-sorta ugly.

Alice: …OH HELL NAH! No! No no no no no no no no no! You see here, I am the only true outsider! She is just a whore! And-

Amu: *_Ahem*_I think she was asking for_** MY**_ opinion _**NOT**_ yours.

Alice: If she wants yours then I'm giving my own opinion too! FIRST of all, you're giving Jackie too much credit! An OC is NEVER supposed to be better as the original main character!

Amu: I'll admit, you have a point there, but she's not going as far as I've seen some others go. But it is true most OCs who end up being more "beautiful" or "lovable" than the original tend to be Mary Sues. But what is overlooked by this most of the time is the OCs personality, past, and the one she takes a liking to. Most people automatically think just because the OC is more beautiful than the original she's automatically a Mary Sue which in most cases IS true, but not all the time.

Alice: They're ALL Mary Sues = 3=

Amu: Regardless of your opinion we go by facts! FACTS! …And the rules of the Mary Sues.

Alice: And the facts state she's a Mary Sue = =

Amu: You're just pissed because you seem like a whiny bitch in some of Miss Peeko's stories.

Alice: PROBABLY DOING IT INTENTIONALLY!

Amu: Well you kinda of are a bitch sometimes.

Alice: Hey!

Amu: Moving on from Alice's bitchiness! Okay, so I see that in the Elliot story in the summary it's implied that Jackie is better than Alice. This is the first flaw and rule that'll make people think your OC is a Mary Sue so people who haven't taken the time to read it will automatically start complaining that she's a Mary Sue. People tend to think once you have the first requirement it's automatically a Mary Sue. But this is wonderland and since one of the rules is all the role holders will love the foreigner(s) then I believe it could entirely be possible that in Elliot's eyes Jackie is better than Alice. THIS leads us to the next rule of the Mary Sues…Does the OC have more popularity with the opposite sex than the original main chara? I counted about…seven different guys being attracted to her in your many stories as the main pairing.

Alice: Yeah and the other MINOR pairings tend to cover up all the non major ones =3=

Amu: SILENCE! *hits her over the head with a baseball bat*besides the minor pairings aren't exactly to be taken seriously, I barely noticed them.

Alice: OWWW!

Amu: Okay back to what I was saying. So Jackie has captured the interest of seven role holders of opposite sex leaving eight to Alice's mercy….for now…But I can also see in the one were Jackie gets Blood's interest is because Alice went home. Thus making all the role holders fair game. And I also saw that a majority of the stories are JackieXJoker(s) pairing, so she's not being a whore like most Mary Sues. Also unlike most OC stories here she actually separates the pairings instead of jamming them all into one story which also strays from the path of the Mary Sue.

Alice: I still say she's a Mary Sue.

Amu: Well until we confirm her past it can't really be told. This is the final rule; does the OC have a painful/dark/mysterious past? I can't really tell too much of Jackie's past from what I've read, but this might be because I haven't read closely enough to minor details. But in the end it doesn't matter too much because as long as she's not getting a majority or all the role holders attention you can't quite consider her a Mary Sue.

Amu: So my evaluation for Jackie? She is a _**WANNABE Mary Sue**_! She seems like one _**ONLY**_ if you don't take enough time to go through all the stories. On that note, I did enjoy your OC stories which is not something I can say too often. Keep up the good work and keep up the not making your OC an actual Mary Sue! Alice can't kill her this way.

Alice: Oh I'll get her eventually she'll screw up one of these days. And I'll be waiting….*disappears into the shadows*

Amu: …Well!

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Thank you for reading. I believe this MIGHT be the final chapter I write for Only One True Outsider only because I can't really find anything else for Alice to rant about, but if you guys have any ideas for a rant I can see what I can do. This also answers **serima's** review question.

**DCreed****, **Alice:fkughdsfjkghdfghidfhgkdfgdgdf NOT WHAT I MEANT! *table flip*


	6. There is no Cannon!

Back with a new chapter! THIS time it's not a rant about OCs and stuff. Shocking I know, Alice LOVES complaining about that stuff! But no, this time Alice will be complaining about ships.

Also let me reemphasize strongly: _**THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. IT'S JUST ME BEING STUPID AND HOPING PEOPLE GET A GOOD LAUGH OUTTA IT.**_ So please, for those of you who began hating on me, stop sending me crap about this being a place for imagination to be used. I understand this. I'm writing like OC-centric story right now about how Wonderland came to be. I understand this is a place for people to come up with different ideas and interpretations. **STOP** assuming I DON'T like them. I read plenty of OC stories, plenty of all those other things I've had Alice rant about and even have some ideas of my own versions of similar stories.

On another note I decided this "series" won't follow the most popular rule since I never really intended it to be popular. So I'll just u[date this when I feel like it or get an idea.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Review #1: OMG BLOODXALICE IS DA BEST PAIRING 'CAUSE ITS CANNONNNNNNN

Alice: Bitch, no. First off, Blood ending up with me is **ONLY** cannon in _**A FEW**_ mangas and the game **ONLY **if you decide it to be. Second, **CANNON DOES NOT ALWAYS MEAN BETTER PAIRING**. Do you understand? READ IT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T LET IT BURN INTO YOUR BRAINS.

Alice: If cannon means best pairing then go read this manga *throws Alice in the Country of Hearts: My Fanatic Rabbit at readers*See? ElliotXMe is cannon in THIS book. Does that mean it's the best? No it doesn't. Look at **ALL** the many fan-mangas for me and so-and-so. Cannon in that manga, but once again, doesn't make it best pairing.

Alice: And my third reason, this shit is a dating sim. You know this right? DATING. SIM. There is no cannon pairing. None. The only cannon pairing will be whatever you want it to be. Isn't that the whole reason for this site anyway? To write fanfics about who you picked for me ((really for you)) in the game and then pair them up with me ((some cases your OC))?

Alice: So STAHP shoving your pairings into other ppls faces. So they have a different opinion, doesn't make them any more wrong or right. You just start useless fights that end with no one winning. And for those who get: "Yeah well *insert cannon pairing here* is cannon so it's better!" This is what your response is: "Yeah well *insert non-cannon pairing here, but cannon somewhere else here* is cannon in *insert fan-manga or whatever here* so suck it beotch!" Keep in mind that some ppl may want to punch in the face for it and it may not work for all pairings, but you can still tell them "Just 'cause it's cannon doesn't mean it's better".

Alice: THE GIRL/GUY IN THE CANNON PAIRING MIGHT HAVE A BETTER MATCH FOR SOMEONE OUT THERE IN THE UNIVERSE OF GAMES/MANGA/ANIME/ETC. KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND WE MAY HAVE LESS FIGHTS. Oh who am I kidding? Wars gonna start regardless. Andit'llbehilarious.

Alice: Oh and open more thing. They still all belong to me. *drags all the wonderland guys away*

Julius: ….Um…isn't she kinda contradicting herself in this chapter?

Alice: Bitch this is my story I can contradict myself all I want.

Julius: I thought it was Amu's story…

Alice: I thought you didn't want us to break the 4th wall.

Julius: Well…a little LATE for that.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Time to answer reviews~! Hooray! *Confetti*

EarthRiddle, First, THANK YOU for not raging the whole review. And yes I get what you're saying, **this wasn't meant to be taken seriously** as I have said (Not sure if you were calling me out for that, but just in case). This was meant to explore and bend everything (in some cases in other cases it stays relatively cannon). I have a story that takes place in the Alice universe but isn't cannon and will be full of so many OCs. Thank you for your review and I hope I didn't offend you.

Serima, I'd be happy to review your OC!

SamShamrocks, that sounds like an interesting idea I can have Alice rant/give her opinion about the subject the next chapter.

DCreed, Once again, I'd be happy to review your OC!

Ordinary Insanity, and yet again I'd love to review your OC. And I see that I am extremely late in this, but if you'd still like me to review her than I can start reading her story in a more erm…"Mary Sue finder?" type way? (idk what to call it but I'll be trying to identify even the smallest detail).

Thank you for reading and I hope to see you all next time~!

For future reference if you want me to review your OC PM me the info or the story title with the OC's name. Thank you~


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